Windy, Cold, & Lonely
Mile 279.2
Hiked just over 4 miles on the trail this afternoon after hiking back up the 2-mile service road from Big Bear. We ate a late lunch at the top of the road and left around 3pm. We had originally wanted to get to the next water source which was about 10 miles away, but with the rather late start it just didn’t really make sense. It started to get quite cold and windy near the end of the miles today, so I think it was the right decision to stop here for the night.
There’s a cold snap this week, so tonight it’s supposed to be pretty chilly. It’s also super windy right now, which makes it even colder. My sleep system has still been too cold for me even with the addition of the sleeping bag liner I bought in Idyllwild, but I’m going to give it one last chance on this stretch. I’m going to make some minor changes to how I’ve been setting it all up, and if it still isn’t warm enough I’ll likely rethink my sleep gear when I get to Wrightwood in about 80 miles.
Really hoping I can get some form of sleep tonight despite the cold. The wind is absolutely howling. Going to listen to “folklore” by Taylor Swift and try to fall asleep.
The view leaving Big Bear
Mile 294.7
Cold and windy today. The rolling downhill terrain was nice on the body but no real views made it kind of a boring day. The wind was also relentless which made the day mentally challenging at times. I hiked the second half of the day with Girl Scout, and it was really nice to have some company while walking. We had a couple river crossings in the last few miles which made things slightly more interesting, and I had fun joking around with GS as we decided how to cross each one. For all of the crossings the water was above our knees but it wasn’t raging like Whitewater River was. I’m exhausted despite it being a relatively easy terrain type of day. Ready for sleep now.
Mile 307.9
Today felt long while I was hiking. In the morning I kept getting frustrated with how little trail maintenance there has been this year so far. It’s a silly thing to get upset about because with all of the snow this year I don’t know how I’d expect a trail crew to have gone through already. However, that fact didn’t help my annoyance as I walked through section after section of long grass, overgrown shrubs, and fallen trees. When the trail is overgrown, it really takes the fun out of walking. You get smacked in the face with branches, twigs and thorns scrape your legs and arms, your big turtle shell of a backpack gets caught in the thicket, and you have to force your way around, over, or under blowdowns (fallen trees) which just makes everything take longer and gets exhausting after a while.
We took a morning break at a bridge (our first real bridge on trail!) and then continued on. I ended up listening to Taylor Swift all day. I have a playlist of my favorite songs and I just shuffled through them. I ended up eating lunch super late, and afterward I felt much better but was ready to be done walking for the day. A few more miles and we had made it to our campsite for the night.
All day we had been making our way toward Deep Creek Hot Springs, a natural hot spring right on the PCT. I kept thinking about how Erich, my husband, would have loved it there. There was a nice beach area right along Deep Creek, and then a whole set of pools full of deliciously hot water to hang out in after several weeks of constant movement and stress on our bodies. The weather was windy, cloudy, and threatening to rain, so it was actually a great time to be enjoying the hot water.
The plan for tomorrow is to do just 6 miles to get to a place called Joshua Inn. It’s a restaurant and bar that allows camping on their property and is supposed to be a hiker-friendly place. We’ll camp there and then do big miles the next day, like 20 or something. I’m starting to get quite tired as the sun starts to go down, and I think it’s from hiking these bigger miles the last couple weeks. I’ve also been warm at night on this stretch of trail which is a new thing for me, so I’ve actually been able to get some sleep.
Apart from the hot springs, the coolest part of today? We passed mile 300!
Mile 314.3
This morning I woke up at the hot springs and decided I wanted to get going. It was kind of raining (it had rained throughout the night) and there was wet sand all over everything. I was ready to get a move on and be dry and warm at Joshua Inn. I packed up my camp, trying to keep everything as dry as possible. I hiked out by myself while the others decided to take the morning to enjoy the springs. I listened to a History Chicks podcast about Ona Judge as I walked and really enjoyed the terrain and views. The trail was really beautiful and was mostly a ridge walk the whole way. It weaved along the canyon with Deep Creek rushing hundreds of feet below.
About a mile before the highway there was a river crossing which I wasn’t expecting (probably should have been paying more attention to my map). It wasn’t rushing but was still swift, wide, and got pretty deep in some areas. Normally I wouldn’t attempt a river crossing by myself, but this one looked really doable and I didn’t feel like I was putting myself in any real danger by going across alone. Someone had tied a red bandana to a tree branch on the other side of the bank indicating the best place to aim for when crossing. Context clues like this are really helpful when navigating on trail. People build small cairns, will create arrows out of sticks at trail/road crossings, will lay larger branches across the “wrong” trail, etc and I’m so appreciative of the people who come before me who take the time to do things like this. It technically doesn’t follow “Leave No Trace” guidelines, but is a big way in which others help the people behind them not to get lost. In the beginning I felt like I always needed to check my map, but I’ve found that if I’m not sure which way to go I should just stop and take stock of what’s around me, and I typically spot an arrow or cairn.
Once I got to the highway crossing I called the restaurant and they said they’d pick me up in about 15 minutes. Not long to wait, but oh my goodness it was so cold and windy, and my feet were wet from the crossing. I hid under a tree to escape the wind and shivered while I waited. Eventually a wonderful man named Allen pulled up and brought me to Joshua Inn. I felt like I had just been rescued! When I walked in to the building there were other hikers drying their socks and shoes on the fireplace, and the smell of the food filled the air. I added my soaking socks and shoes to the collection on the hearth and joined the others. After a cold and wet few days, I was warm, dry, and eating a French dip sandwich paired with a Root beer float.
There was a dog that was hanging out around the bar that the waiter told me just kind of lives around town and hangs out at the restaurant during the day. I was petting him and ended up finding a large tick behind his ear. Since he didn’t have an owner, I realized I had to deal with it myself. I got my headlamp and tweezers from my bag, and came back to do some surgery. Eagle and Smoothie were there and helped as I got to work. The dog was so sweet. He just laid down nicely on the ground and let us do our work, as if he knew we were helping him. By the end, we had pulled 6-7 ticks off of him, and chucked them all in the fire. He probably had more on him, but I’m glad we were able to get the ones off that we did.
The girls came along a few hours later followed by two guys we had met at the hot springs, Tom and Hot Pink. Last night at camp we managed to convince them to come with us to Joshua Inn and take a near-o. It was a great evening of hanging out with all the hikers and enjoying the warm indoors. The restaurant had dollar bills taped to the ceiling with people’s names on them, so I got out a dollar and signed it “Baby Spice”, then passed it around for the rest of the group to add their trail names. I grabbed some tape, the waiter brought me a step stool, and I stuck our dollar to the ceiling above the fireplace. If I ever come back to Joshua Inn years from now, will it still be there?
Mile 332.3
After doing short miles yesterday, we put in work today to get us further along the trail. We were only about 30 miles from Cajon Pass (resupply stop with a McDonalds to enjoy) when we left Joshua Inn, so we decided to push close to 20 miles so we’d have a shorter day in the morning to get us there. I ended up getting on trail about an hour or so earlier than the others, so I walked 12 miles before lunch on my own. I hadn’t taken a break that whole time because there wasn’t really an opportunity, and when I got to our lunch spot I was absolutely pooped.
We hung out at lunch for a little over an hour, and were joined still by Tom and Hot Pink. It feels nice to be in a bit of a larger group again. After lunch we had about 8 more miles, so I turned on my audiobook and made my way further. We were passing around Silverwood Lake, and it was stunning. The large lake, big mountains surrounding it, and vibrant green foliage reminded me of my friend, Emma, from back home. It felt as though her spirit was there with me, and I took some pictures and video to share with her. It’s interesting how we associate different aspects of our world with certain people, and when I’m out in nature I find my family and friends in some very beautiful places.
Mile 347.2
This morning when I woke up, I decided to sleep in and take my time. It was only about 10 miles to get to Cajon Pass, and I was feeling fatigued after always waking up so early to get moving the last few weeks. I let myself lay around for a while and got moving on trail around 9am. I’ve been listening to the audiobook “When Breath Becomes Air” by Paul Kalanithi the last few days, and while listening to the emotional epilogue, I found myself in tears while I hiked on. I’ve been really grateful to have the extra time to “read” books I haven’t had a chance to or haven’t made time for over the years.
I made it to Cajon Pass a little after lunch time, and was not in the best spirits. If I’m being honest with myself, this last stretch has been really mentally challenging. The high I felt after being in Big Bear seems to have come crashing down, and I’ve been feeling lonely, exhausted, isolated, and sad. I’ve missed being around Zip, Noodz, and Mountain Man while hiking, and feel a sense of grief at the dissolution of our earlier trail family we had around Idyllwild. The last couple weeks I’ve been doing a lot of hiking alone, and only get to chat and hang out with others when I’m at breaks or in camp. I also have a slower pace than Girl Scout and Shortcut, so when I do get to our breaks usually the others have been there for a while already, and leave before I’m done breaking. They may be spending an hour at a break together, but I might only get to hang out with them for about 20 minutes before they continue on since I usually arrive “late”. It means I’m spending huge portions of the day alone, when in the first couple weeks of trail I hardly ever hiked by myself, maybe only for a few hours at a time. If I was hiking alone, my friends were always close ahead or behind. Girl Scout and Shortcut have been nothing but wonderful, hilarious, encouraging, supportive, and just great to be partnered with, but since they have naturally faster paces than I do, I feel isolated a lot of the day.
We made it to camp earlier (Me, Shortcut, Girl Scout, Tom, and Hot Pink) and have a 14-mile climb tomorrow to get out of a canyon we’re in, with an additional 6-ish miles afterward to get to the campground that will connect us to the town of Wrightwood. The climb ascends 4800 ft from where we currently are. Thinking about doing that climb (which has no water sources, meaning a long water carry) I had a low moment and told the others I wanted to just walk the county road to get to town. It would mean I wouldn’t need to do the big climb, and could potentially get to town a night early. I’ve been feeling really low about being alone during the day, and also mentally struggling with being the slowest of the group. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to keep up, and walking the road sounded like a reprieve from the tough miles I’ve been doing lately. They were surprised at my saying this, and I could tell Girl Scout was disappointed in my decision. I wasn’t sure about it either, but I just feel so low and all I want is to have a good day tomorrow. I messaged Erich on my Garmin a few minutes ago and told him about what I’m feeling. He messaged me back and said, “I know it’s hard mentally, but try to cut yourself some slack and remember why you are walking in the first place. It’s not to see the road.”
Clearly he’s right, which makes me slightly annoyed lol… I’m going to bed now so I can get some sleep. I’m planning to leave camp at 5:30am to hit the trail and start the climb with good momentum.
Mile 367.1
We climbed pretty much the entire day, and it was absolutely beautiful. I can’t describe how glad I am that I didn’t do the road walk. I’m so so so sore and so tired, but wow. Not only was this my first 20-mile day, but it also had so much incline and it had sketchy snow traverses and then we ended up having to figure out a new route at the end when the snow got too sketchy. We finally made it to camp after the sun had set, and I immediately set up my tent, crawled inside and cooked while sitting in my sleeping bag to stay warm.
One of the biggest highlights of today was a completely unexpected surprise. I was hiking along when all of a sudden I heard the Frozen II siren call - my earlier trail family’s “callout”. It was MOUNTAIN MAN!!! I turned and saw him a ways behind me and called back to him. We both stopped walking and I heard him yell “BABY SPICE!”. We then ran towards each other and ended up in a big bear hug. The last time I saw him was right before Apache Peak on the San Jacinto section, the night before I bailed down the side trail back to Idyllwild. I’d heard he was in Cajon Pass only a few hours before me the other day and I was so bummed I had missed him. I knew he was doing bigger miles, so I was convinced I wouldn’t see him again. It was SUCH a treat to hike with him, it felt like going home.
Our group ended up hiking with Mountain Man the rest of the day. At the top of the climb we encountered snow on the trail, and after a mile or so came to a spot that was extremely sketchy. There was no real boot track because it had just recently snowed, and if you slipped, you’d definitely get hurt and could potentially slide out of sight. It was particularly sketchy for me, Shortcut, and Mountain Man because we didn’t have any microspikes or ice axes. We had sent our snow gear from Big Bear to Wrightwood, because originally the trail from Cajon Pass to Wrightwood was closed due to a nearby forest fire. It opened back up the day before we arrived in Cajon Pass.
We saw on the map that about 40 feet below the trail there was an old forest service road that ended up connecting to the campground we were heading for. Rather than continue forward on the trail we all decided to bail down the slope. Hot Pink and Tom managed to glissade using their ice axes as a “break”, but unfortunately for the rest of us that wasn’t an option. We made our way down the slope by carefully kicking into the slushy snow to make footprints, climbing over thorny bushes that were surrounded by sheer ice, and then slipping down crumbling scree. All of us made it safely down to the service road which was a much safer path to follow, but still difficult to walk on due to the amount of snow, water and mud. We also lost the road several times in the snow, but managed to get to the campground which is just outside of a ski area.
While walking the road, we saw some of the most beautiful views I’ve ever seen. We were up above the clouds, and the mountains around us were floating above them as if islands in the sky. Snow-covered and dipped in golden hour sunlight, we felt as though we’d ascended to Heaven. We hiked about 5 miles all together, drinking in the views and pushing through the pain we were in to get us to camp. It was so enjoyable despite the discomfort of walking big miles on snow, and after several days of camping with Tom and Hot Pink, it really feels like we’re all becoming a family.
This was my first 20-mile day and I’m so proud of myself. I feel like I learned a big lesson in not taking the “easy way” out. If I had walked the road today, I would have missed some of my favorite views I’ve seen on trail so far, I would have missed Mountain Man, I would have missed the experience of the snow, I would have missed another day of bonding with everyone, and I would have probably felt even more isolated and sad than I’ve been feeling recently. Last night I went to bed feeling dejected, and tonight I’m going to bed feeling fulfilled and at peace. It’s amazing the difference a day can make.
I’m cold, I’m exhausted, I’m ready for town, but I’m so energized by the day I’ve had, and I feel as though I fell in love with trail again after a tough week.
Shortcut navigating a blowdown
Views of Mt. San Jacinto and the San Gorgonio mountain range by Big Bear. (Worth noting that the upload washed out the video, so color isn’t true)
